The Next Step

Sunday morning around seven, I decided to go out for a run. I had slept until mid-afternoon on Saturday and hadn’t gone to sleep since, but nevertheless, I wanted to go outside. The sun had just come up and it was still a bit chilly. There is something about nature that puts everything into perspective for me. It was so calming. I’ve had a lot on my mind, and I was seeking some time spent with God. I’m trying to discern what God wants my future to look like and what steps I need to take in order for that vision to be realized. A couple years ago, I attended a BattleCry event in Detroit and there was a promotional video and a couple speakers that were talking about the Honor Academy. The Honor Academy is a one-year internship through TeenMania Ministries. You take classes, live on a campus with hundreds of other interns and build relationships with others, and learn more about God and how to live a godly life. It sounded interesting to me at the time, so I filled out an information card and every once in a while, I’ll get a phone call from a representative at the HA. Except the past two or three months, I’ve been getting a call every week from one particular rep. He’ll ask me how I’m doing in school, how my Bible reading is going, and how God’s been working in my life, and we’ve had many conversations about lots of subjects. Throughout these past couple months, he’ll tell me about what’s going on at the HA and has been trying to convince me to enroll. At first, I thought about it and considered it, but concluded that right now wasn’t the best time. I’m not so sure about that anymore. Sunday, I felt like my calling is slowly becoming clearer. Not necessarily the entire vision, but I feel that the next step is getting closer. I’m still not positive, but the Honor Academy may have something to do with it. If you want to pray guidance and confirmation for me, that would be pretty much awesome. If the Honor Academy is what’s next for me, finances will be a little hard to come by and could possibly hold off going for another year. But for now, my main focus is to listen to God and understand what is next in His plan for me.

This Too Shall Be Made Right

What are your thoughts?

Mud

Not two weeks ago, I was spending some time alone with God and it’s becoming more and more real to me that my heart lies in another land. I feel that it’s in the distance, but the mission field has been calling for quite some time. I’ve received confirmation about this subject many, many times, but a couple of weeks ago, God reminded me of the plan he has for me. I was in prayer and seeking direction from God about the mission field. And while I was praying, I got this picture in my mind’s eye of. . . well, mud. And it wasn’t like clay mud or potter’s clay. It was the type of mud that forms from dirt and rain: the kind you see in a ditch. It was a mud path. I didn’t see anything beyond the path or beside it; just a mud path. I feel that God was showing me a glimpse of the climate I’ll be working in one day. I still have no idea where I’ll be going because, as you know, there are quite a few muddy places on this planet. And even though I still have no answers, I feel calm. I don’t know exactly where I’m going, but I do know that I’m where I’m supposed to be at this point in time. And even though I’d like to know more, I don’t need to know more. This is where I am, and I’m following wherever God leads me. And as I seek this vision God has given me, I find myself humming that old Irish hymn – Be Thou my vision, O Lord of my heart.

Be

This morning I woke up feeling guilty. There are moments in the midst of making a bad decision or saying something I shouldn’t, I realize that in the near future I will regret whatever I am choosing to do at that point in time. But for some reason, that usually doesn’t stop me. And it didn’t yesterday. But this morning it caught up with me. I got out of bed not because I wanted to, but because I had to: things to do, places to go – you know the drill. I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth in my bathrobe when something in my spirit told me to look in the mirror. You can imagine my thought process: Why do I have to look in the mirror? Do I have a booger or something? This isn’t exactly a day where I’d like to spend some time looking myself in the face anyway! But despite what I wanted to do, I turned around and looked in the mirror. And that’s when God showed up. God wanted me to understand that he doesn’t see me like I see myself. He doesn’t see me like anyone else sees me. He sees my heart. He sees something far more valuable than I could ever understand. My prayer this morning was that I could see things how God sees them. That I could see people how God sees them. That I could see myself how God sees me. I was reminded of this verse:

“And you also are among those who are called to belong to Jesus Christ.” (Romans 1:6 NIV)

Be who God created you to be. Be His. Be thankful.

First Snow

The first snow of the season was this past weekend.

I hate snow.

But as I was driving home Monday and the wind was blowing the snow across the road and the heater in my car was on full blast, I looked to my right and saw the snow finding a resting place in a harvested corn field. And although it’s very difficult for me to see the snow and not think of the cold, I was able to say to God, “Let your glory be shown however you wish. Even if it’s cold.” It was a pleasant moment, however cold I seemed to be.

I love moments where God shows up unexpectedly. For me, it always leaves a feeling of contentment. Everything is at peace, even if my mind is racing. Can you recall a time in your life where God showed up unexpectedly? What was your reaction?

Name

This struck a chord with me, as almost all NOOMA videos do. Please excuse the foreign subtitles

When The Saints

If you listen to Christian radio, you might recall the name of Sara Groves. She’s been involved in the Christian music industry since the late nineties and personally, since I’ve been listening to her, she continues to just penetrate my heart with her honesty and poignancy. Within the past year she released a CD titled, “Tell Me What You Know.” I hadn’t purchased this one yet, but a friend of mine let me listen to her copy. The theme surrounding the songs Sara has created for this album is her trip to Rwanda and what she experienced while she was there. She also refers to the slave trade and child prostitution in her rhymes. But there is one track on her latest CD that has been played on the radio fairly regularly: “When the Saints.” The lyrics go something like this:

“When I’m weary and overwrought with so many battles left unfought, I think of Paul and Silas in the prison yard; I hear their song of freedom rising to the stars, I see the shepherd Moses in the Pharaoh’s court; I hear his call for freedom for the people of the Lord, I see the long, quiet walk along the underground railroad; I see the slave awakening to the value of her soul, I see the young missionary and the angry spear; I see his family returning with no trace of fear, I see the long, hard shadows of Calcutta nights; I see the sister standing by the dying man’s side, I see the young girl huddled on the brothel floor; I see the man with a passion come and kicking that door, I see the man of sorrow and his long, troubled road; I see the load on his shoulders and my easy load, and when the saints go marching in, I want to be one of them.”

There are many things that come to mind when I read those lyrics, but the thought that resonates with me the most is how these examples are proof of God’s faithfulness to redeem and restore hope to us time and again. It’s proof of faith, hope and love. Too often I get caught up in the meager things in life: gas prices, bills, gossip, outward appearances; it’s all meaningless, as Ecclesiastes puts it. I forget about God’s promise to work miracles in our lives and I’m positive I miss so much because I’m too busy looking at the details. This was one way God spoke to me this week and it was a small reminder to focus in on Christ and what He’s doing in my life and the lives surrounding me.

If you’re interested in more of Sara Groves’ music and her experience in Rwanda, you can check out the video below and her website here. May we always be reminded of God’s promises and focus on His plan.

Starting Over…

This past summer has been so surreal to me. There have been so many changes in my life and it feels like it all happened at once. I still haven’t taken it all in. Blogging and Bible reading have suffered a lot under my circumstances. I want that to change. That’s why I’m here.

I’ve been fairly active on Blogger for about a year, but I figured out I didn’t really like Blogger all that much, so I’m giving WordPress a try! Also, I wanted a new look and starting over on another blog seemed like my best option. I could have messed around with stuff on Blogger, but I’m sure that would have taken me days if I had gone with that option and I don’t really have the time for that. While my old blog is still active, I won’t be posting there anymore. If you’d like to take a look at it, you can find it here.

My intention for this blog won’t be to inform you of what’s going on in my life, but rather what God is teaching me and how he is molding me at this point in time. I’m not going to tell you all about the classes I’m taking or the latest fiasco at work, although in order to tell you what God is teaching me, some life situations may be brought up. There will be a page on this blog where you can look at the Scripture I’m focusing on as well. My aspiration is to always be honest and vulnerable in this. I hope that if you take part in any conversation or discussion here that you’ll do the same.

This will be my life as a branch.